what i have failed to do

 there's a prayer we say in Church each week that i love.

"I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do..."

first i love the confession part. the admitting of my mistakes. the acknowledgement of my weakness. 

the owning of my behavior.

it's having the courage to stand up and say, i'm not perfect and i know it. 

it's saying i know i have fault. 

it's not blaming it on others. 

and i love the part that reminds me that my sinning comes both through my thoughts AND my words. that it's not always just what people hear, but what God hears that i need to be accountable for.

but the part i love the most, the part that gets me to look at my life with different eyes, is this line.: 

"in what i have done and in what I HAVE FAILED TO DO."

wow.

it gets me every time.

what i have failed to do. what i have failed to say. when i have failed to act.

it's one thing to have to account for my actions. but to ask to be held accountable for what i haven't done? to confess for something that i didn't do? to answer for things that never came to pass?

yes. an absolute yes.

and it's not a false confession either. and it's not being a false witness.

but it's a humility, a humbleness, an honesty that requires me to be real. 

a faith that requires a closer look. a courage that requires a complete disclosure. 

a genuine prayer that comes from knowing God has given me gifts that i don't use. talent that i waste. resources that i don't use for His glory.

of all the things i do, i think it's the things i never get around to that might hurt Him the most.

when i don't stand up. when i don't speak up. when i don't follow the call to action.

how many people have i overlooked? how many ideas have i not made time for? how many nudges have i ignored?

God needs me to do my part and yet i spend too much time watching television. i spend too much money on things i don't need. i spend too much attention on things that don't matter.

and none of it brings glory to Him.

and so i pray and confess with our whole Church for both the things i have done and for the things i have failed to do.

because i want to be different.

i want this week to be different.

i want my life to be different.

for Him.

keep the faith!!!