the gift of mondays

i've been gone for awhile now. over two months to be exact.  at least in the blog world anyway. but in the real world it's been much longer. in fact it's been so long i don't even remember when i left.  but i did.  i walked away. actually, i ran. as far and as fast as i could. because i'm screwed up. i've always known that but most people don't.  i put on a good front. i wear a mask. i build a wall. and i rarely, if ever, show someone the real me. it's easier that way. keeps me from being hurt. keeps me from loving someone and then losing them. keeps me from being betrayed or rejected or looked over... again. i learned that early in life. that people leave. that they hurt you. that they die. and it sometimes takes a lifetime to recover from it. and sometimes you don't recover at all. and so i wear masks. and i build walls. and i only show people what i want them to see. small glimpses. ti