the gift of mondays

my heart is heavy. so heavy right now. matthew butler...the boy we have been praying for, the boy we have been believing for, the boy who we thought a miracle had come for... is gone. he has died. and i can't even imagine the pain his family feels. i can't imagine it. i can't imagine how his mom and dad try to process this pain. i can't imagine how they even form a thought in the middle of such emotion. because it doesn't seem fair. and it doesn't seem right. and it doesn't make sense. and i'm not sure that it ever will. when my sister died, even though she was in her 50's, my dad was devastated. he said to me on the plane ride to her funeral, "how does a parent outlive a child?". and i didn't know what to say. because no matter the age, a child is always a child in a parent's heart. they remember the day they were born. they remember the silly moments. they remember the silly fights. and they laugh, and they smile