Skip to main content

i want to live as if Jesus' death means something to me

i want to live my life as if Jesus dying on the Cross means something to me. i don't want it to be obvious only at Church. or only on Easter. or just at Christmas. i want it to be an everyday love affair. i want to wake up thanking Him, go to bed thanking Him, and spend every moment in between trying to bring Him glory.

i want more than a casual relationship, i want Him to be my best friend. i want Him to know my voice. i want to know His. i want to be like David-someone "after God's own heart."

i want to remember His sacrifice. remember His suffering. remember His willingness to take the place for my sins. 

i want to remember how He was betrayed. how He was ridiculed. how He was mocked. and realize that He did it for me, so that i wouldn't have to pay the price. because i could never pay it. He knew that. and He did what He had to do-what only He could do-so that i might have eternal life.

i don't want that realization to get lost on me. i don't want to take it for granted. i don't want to live my life arrogantly and selfishly, as if i can do anything i want and get away with it.

but i often get sidetracked. i often have setbacks. no matter how much i want to be with Him, i find other things that take up my time. other things that become my priority. no matter how much i want to live for Him, i still find other things i want to live for. other things that become my focus.

i am surrounded by temptations. i am surrounded by the desires of this world. so often i take two steps forward and then jump three steps back. my mind wanders. my thoughts drift. my words contradict.

and in my actions i become the betrayer. the one who ridicules. the one who mocks. suddenly it is me who nailed Jesus to the Cross. who couldn't stay awake in the garden. who sells Him so easily for 30 pieces of silver. 

i don't want to get lost. i don't want to take Him for granted. i don't want to be arrogant and selfish. but i do. and i have. and i am.

and yet despite it all...despite myself...the fact remains...Jesus died for me. He took the suffering, He took the abuse, He took the shame...because He loved me. even before this world ever knew me, He knew me.  and He loved me, and  He loves me, with an everlasting love.

i don't want to live my life as if Jesus dying on the Cross means nothing to me. i don't want to live as if i'm not aware of the sacrifice. that i'm not aware of the suffering. i want my actions to live up to my heart. i want to live my life in a way that boldly declares that His death up on that Cross means everything to me.

because it should. and it has. and it does.


Popular posts from this blog

you've walked a million steps away from God

God took my mom

God took my mom.  When I was 6 years old and knew nothing about life.  Before I had a chance to know her. Long before I would have a way to remember her.  He took her.  And I grew up never having a mother. If God can see all, if God knows all, if God is in control...did He not think I would want a mom?  Or deserved a mom?  Or needed a mom?  Did He not care how painful it would be? Did He not care how awful it would feel?  Did He not care about me at all? Because I thought when you loved someone you wanted the best for them. You sacrificed for them. You made sure you did everything in your power to help them. And it didn't feel like God helped me. It felt like He punished me. And I had no idea why.  I just knew I hated it.  And there were moments that I hated Him.  When you're little, no one comes up to you and tells you it's going to be ok.  Most don't come up to you at all.  Because people shrink from talking about death.  They don't know what to say so they don

A Prayer for our Nation

Father, I pray according to 1 Timothy 2:1-3, for all who are in authority in this nation. I ask for Godly counsel and wisdom for the President and his Cabinet, Chief Justice, Associate Justices of the Supreme Court and all judges across this land.  Thank you for restoring to our nation righteous judges who hear Your voice and adhere to Your Word (Isaiah 1:26). We lift up the Secretary of State, Secretary of the Treasury, Secretary of Defense, members of the Senate and House of Representatives, and all other leaders at every level of our government to receive the wisdom of God, to act in obedience to that wisdom, and for the power of God to flow in their lives.  I declare that they hear and obey Your voice, Lord, and the voice of a stranger they will not follow. Lord, I pray that righteousness be manifest in the hearts of all in authority in our nation, and that they seek after You with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength. In the Name of Jesus.  Amen. (Prayer from Kenneth Copela