Skip to main content

note to self: i don't have time for my life

i've done it again.

said yes when i should have said no.

added 5 million more things to my list that already had 5 million things on it.

felt like i needed to help everyone.

felt like i needed to live up to everyone.

forgot to pay a bill.

or two.

let's be honest, it's more than two.

missed a meeting.

let the dishes sit in the sink overnight.

and then the whole next day too.

didn't make my bed.

didn't drink my water.

didn't eat lunch.

haven't made dinner.

lost my patience.

lost my motivation.

lost my mind. 

found it.

and then lost it again.

and it's not the first time for any of these things.

and it probably won't be the last.

because i'm a people pleaser.

and an enabler.

and a control freak.

and really bad at saying no.

and really bad at not finding time to do it all.

and really bad at remembering the good i do.

because i still have SO MUCH to do.

and i won't stop until it's done.

and i'll hate that some of it will be late.

and i'll hate that some of it isn't important.

and i'll hate that some of it i shouldn't even be doing.

but i'll still do it.

because i said i would.

because I AM CRAZY.

because sometimes i like to believe i am a superhero. 


and i'm missing out on my life.

and i'm missing out on my boys.

and i'm worrying way too much about things that don't matter.

and not spending nearly enough time on things that do.

note to self: i don't have time for my life

but even worse...what if life finally stops having time for me?


Popular posts from this blog

you've walked a million steps away from God

i used to have an eating disorder

i used to have an eating disorder. that's not easy for me to say. because most people don't know. and i thought most people never would. it's not that i'm embarrassed or ashamed. because i'm not. but i know how some people are. i know that once they know the truth, they'll look at me different. they'll watch my steps and wonder if i'm slipping. they'll start to find ways to assume it's still me. because some who do that to me now. but it's not me anymore. and it hasn't been me for awhile. but just because i say it's not me, doesn't mean some people forget. because some people don't. and some people never will. and it's hard when they remind me. it's hard when they won't believe me. because i've tried very hard to overcome my past. so i've told very few and trusted very little.  even now i hesitate to share the truth. i hesitate for people to know. because i'd

from bullied to bold - teaching my boys to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves

i was bullied in high school. not the big time stuff you hear about in the news but enough that it made me never forget it. and enough that i knew i would never stand for it again.  in my life or in the life of anyone i know. i was a senior in high school. taking an easy class the last semester just to get an easy grade. he was a senior too. a celebrated football player. someone i had known since middle school.  someone i thought was my friend. i don't know why he did it. i think maybe he did it to be cool. or to prove his power. or just because he could. but one day-out of the blue-i became his target. he made fun of the way i looked. he made fun of what i wore. he made fun of what i said. everyone around us heard it. everyone smiled or laughed.  and everyone - including myself - let it go on. everyday. until the end of the year. i don't remember anyone trying to defend me. i don't remember anyone trying to change the subject. i do